525 in idea barrages

1.) The Mothman Radio Hour Prophecies would be my favourite show on NPR.

2.) If your sex bakery fetishizes modestly-chested women, call it Cupcakes. If your sex bakery fetishizes muscle men, call it Stud Muffins. Or a sexy soup restaurant called “Crock Tease”. That would work too.

3.) If Hole put out an album called “Glory” that would make the Billboard Charts, like, 50 times cooler.

4.) I finally figured out how to sum myself up in three words: “Honors-Class Clown”.

5.) I want a Lou Reed Transformer that transforms from Robo-Reed into a tuba.

6.) Then there was Harlan Ellison’s famous novel about Genesee Street in Utica “I Have No Meth And I Must Scream”.

7.) The worst part of sleeping with a grind guard is all the dreams about having stuff stuck in your teeth.

8.) What This Clickbait Headline Suggests Will Leave You Disappointed!!!

9.) Is there infomercial fanfiction? Is there Chef Tony/Billy Mays? Is there cosplay? Is there a fem-Popeil crossplay community?

10.) When all you have left is hate & the desire to teach children that the world was created by magic, might be time to pack it in.

11.) If you’re naming your drone-manufacturing company anything other than SkyNet, what are you even doing with your life?

12.) The internet solved for the tree falling in the forest koan with “pics or it didn’t happen”. We have that much.

13.) Move in for a kiss but then just blow a raspberry sound right on their face. It’s the only way.

14.) When you say that a hockey team has a power play situation but you write that they’re “on the PP” you’ve utterly failed.

15.) Remember: the best way to honor the war fallen is to make sure we don’t go to unnecessary wars and to end unwinnable ones.

16.) “meat nomad” is not an anagram for “Matt Damon”… but it almost is.

17.) In my dream last night, they wanted land to prove that they were powerful, they wanted power to prove that they were important, they wanted to be important to prove that they were holy, they wanted to be holy so they could prove that they were immortal… and in their quest for land to start it off, they killed everyone, including themselves. In my dream, the whole world died because a few crazy jerks wanted to prove that they couldn’t. But they did and we all did. Earth cracked at the middle like an atom and exploded while a few of us were still trying to share because we loved each other, nothing to prove at all. All in all, I hate sleeping.