On Ugly Dudes in Porn. in The Napkin.

  • May 31, 2015, 10:24 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

So I’m watching some pornography and I noticed the guy has a tummy kind of like I do. (I’ve gained weight, shush.) I had a moment of “Damn, I could get paid to be whipped and stuff.” Then I remembered the general target audience: average dudes.

I mean, if we ever see “fat” girls in porn, it’s a kink, right? Pubic hair has become a kink. (Whereas fifteen years ago you had to search for shaved. I’m serious.) It’s almost a trope that guys in porn aren’t particularly attractive.

I propose a new trope: a bunch of “average” girls order pizza with extra sausage. The delivery guy is absolutely gorgeous, has a pretty penis and is impeccably shaved. (Or hairy, if that’s your manthing.) The girls then spend the rest of the film oogling him, with the focus being him giving them pleasure.


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