512 in idea barrages

1.) It is very very difficult to say “Big Gulp” without a hint of disdain. Try it.

2.) When you meet the eye of someone you think is a god, don’t expect them to view you as the same. Because you’re both just people.

3.) No one gets full custody of memories but sometimes you wish they did and you could either hang onto every one or make orphans of them all.

4.) Do your best today to convince people that you think “Dragon Ball Z” is called “Dragon Ballz”.

5.) Vis-a-vis the “half empty/half full” I’ve decided that my answer is “the glass is too damned small”.

6.) Open a woman-positive sex shop. Name it “Olive’s Garden”. Refer to a strap-on sale as “Unlimited Broadsticks.” Win everything.

7.) “I’m goin’ to Doucheland, Doucheland, some fra-tern-it-y, I’m goin’ to Doucheland, Doucheland…“

8.) If you’re gonna review weird Japanese candies on Youtube, at least have the good sense to call your show “Konichi…whaaaa?”

9.) “Personally, I’m not into glory holes like you are,” she said, “but I can see where you’re coming from.”

10.) The new Twitter for hipsters will be called Twee-er. It will be entirely in sepia and have a banjo backing track.