57 in idea barrages

1.) Beyond a shadow of a doubt, the greatest name for a band ever would be “Lee Marvin Oswald”.

2.) It seems like the easiest way to conceal your sex toys would be to hide them in plain sight disguised as pepper grinders.

3.) Twitter is like meditation, struggling to ignore distraction breaks focus just as much as engaging it. Note it then let it pass like clouds.

4.) If you’re gonna sell a carbonated yogurt drink, at least have the panache to call it “Pop Culture”.

5.) If you’re gonna sell yogurt that claims to help you slow the aging process, at least have the panache to call it “Youth Culture”.

6.) Water water everywhere but hey, I brought a desalinization machine so everything is awesome.

7.) No, the irony of being on duty guarding a dog has not escaped me.

8.) If you talk about deflated balls, you’re not talking about wife-beaters and murderers and systemic brain damage & the NFL wins.

9.) I like to think that The Predator was actually a redneck outcast and the rest of his people are all suburban dads. Fredators.

10.) Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man turn out to be a horrifying reverse-vampire monster.

11.) If you need to figure out if your roadies are A.I. constructs, use the Touring Test.

12.) If you need to know if your Volkswagon van is possessed by an A.I. programme, try the Touareg Test.

13.) Wealth only exists w/in a context of shared infrastructure/culture. You can’t “get yours” from society then demand to opt out. Tax is good.

14.) Luke and Han, sittin’ around, arguing which is more bad-ass, Luke’s replacement hand or Han’s two replacement hips.