414 in idea barrages

1.) A time traveler shows up, sees “Paul Blart Mall Cop 2” on a marquee and realizes he ended up in the bad future.

2.) I walked the path of True Believer & all it got me was heartache. I’m a skeptic. I believe in my friends, in myself in a pinch, that’s it.

3.) Yes, this Twitter stream is like 83% puns about sex but do you know what else was? THE WORKS OF BILL SHAKESPEARE.

4.) I mean, Bush is paying Paul, Cruz and Rubio to run against him to make him look almost sane, yeah?

5.) Convince someone that Ginger from GILLIGAN’S ISLAND, Tina Louise, is name-checked in the Sublime song “Doin’ Time”.

6.) Sure from our perspective that’s not a pipe… but if you’re living in that painting, that’s all the pipe you’re ever gonna get.

7.) She broke the rules of Lent by eating meat on a Friday, now she’s going to hell in a ham basket.

8.) Driving on the same road as New Jersey drivers needed to be legally reclassified as attempted suicide.