331 in idea barrages

1.) No man is an island. Except ol’ Joe Krakatoa, of course.

2.) Yes, it is the journey not the destination but only if you’re always trying. If you give up, the journey gives up on you.

3.) “If art school tells you you’re not up to snuff, find a different field. Government work is stable!” - Hitler’s Mom

4.) NCAA March Madness: which group of rich white Southerners exploiting completely-unpaid largely-minority laborers will be champs?

5.) Binge Eating Disorder might be real? All I know is when I see an ad about it I think “that’s just doing what the other ads told us to do.”

6.) The committee recognizes your proposal for a toast and is tabling it for further study. A toast sub-committee will be formed.

7.) The Gingerdead Man horror series really whiffed by never using the line “Pepperidge Farm Dismembers!”

8.) Airport mixed-drinks should be allowed the same rights as a human being, we’re both two-thirds water.

9.) The best way to deal with a heckler is to start screaming at the top of your lungs staccato while running toward him windmilling your arms.

10.) If a fit person asks “do you do squats?” always say “you know, 2 or 3 times a day, unless I had undercooked eggs, then more.”

11.) “Religious Freedom” is the new “States’ Rights” but it’s always the same: a flimsy cover for bigotry that should be mocked & shamed.