322 in idea barrages

  • March 21, 2015, 11 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

1.) Had a dream where I was part of a 70s B-movie-style heist but afterward most of my take turned into crude & obvious forgeries.

2.) I’m still kind of disappointed that Vanilla Ice & Parapa the Rappa never had beef.

3.) “I HATE the smell of wet gauze in the morning! It smells like WOUND CARE!” - line from APACKINGGAUZENOW.

4.) Coffee, tea or thee? without coffee, there’s no me!

5.) “Mr. Blandman, yesss? Dull as whipped cream! Wonder Bread’s the most spice he has seen.”

6.) Mike Fact #436: Two of my exes were hit on by Older Pete from PETE AND PETE, years apart in radically different situations.

7.) ALF stationary is one of my prized possessions, because my priorities are warped.

8.) I was at a food fair in my dream, wondering why everything was rubbery. Woke up wrecking the HELL out of my grind-guard.

9.) He died doing what he loved, building a time machine to punch Hitler.

10.) Just once I wanna get a slice from Gino’s Unoriginal Pizza or a sammich from Tony’s Unoriginal Cheesesteak.

11.) Jesus told us to love each other in this life w/out judgment, pay our taxes, give to the poor & wreck up banks. I like that guy.

12.) I wanna manage an Irish hardcore band named Moshed Potatoes. Or from Idaho, I guess, that could work too.

13.) Sellin’ meat pies to juggalos, callin’ ‘em Insane Clown Pasties.

14.) Every word coined in Australia sounds like vomiting beer. Kookooburra, koala, kangaroo. We Oztruthers see no coincedence.

15.) Burger King cologne. STEP ONE: put expired mayo in a bottle. STEP TWO: ??? STEP THREE: PROFIT!

16.) Andorra’s Box is a lot like Pandora’s Box except a lot lot tinier.

17.) You know what you do when you “presume”! “U” press into “me” and it’s AWESOME.


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