321 in idea barrages

1.) “That exterminator is KILLING it!”

2.) I am extraordinarily lucky that while I’m dealing with the fact that my surgery stitches popped and I have to be packed with gauze now, I’m supremely lucky my ma is trained in wound care. Medical pros in the family, it is a wonderful thing.

3.) Nothing’s more expensive than The Free Market. Language has a sense of humour darker than any one woman or man could muster.

4.) She got a degree in agriculture but couldn’t find a job in her field.

5.) If Legend of Zelda were a wrestling federation, the message would’ve been “Dodongo Dislikes Smarks”.

6.) If Archie Andrews were a real person, how could everyone not be constantly punching him in the face? He’d die, fast.

7.) I like to think that some day Ryan Reynolds’ kid will grow up to not be able to tell him apart from Dane Cook, like me.

8.) “That brony’s tumblr is all photoshops of himself, that guy is totally self-centaured.”

9.) A Dead Milkmen parody about Battlefield Earth “Punk Rock Terl”?

10.) Laptop: 22% left.