315 in idea barrages

1.) When the borders of a homeland mean more than the welfare of its people, oh man. Both are lost.

2.) All youtube Let’s Players should have to occasionally turn on the autoclosed captions and re-dub the video to match those words.

3.) Keeping a writing journal is like being a gender-reassignment surgeon, the more entries you make, the better you get.

4.) Most folks who don’t want immigrants coming to America fly Confederate flags. We could deport them for treason to balance the numbers!

5.) Such a migraine. The nitrites in the hot dogs or filling out job apps?

6.) Coffee at McDonalds is like sex at McDonalds, you can get it cheap & it’ll do the job but have limited expectations toward quality.

7.) Every facebook “trending” reads like a McSweeney attempt at dry irony. Yes, Earl from DINOSAURS was an “anthromorphic character” but JESUS.

8.) Refer to hieroglyphics as “Egyptian emoji” whenever you possibly can.