pi day in idea barrages

1.) A traumatic experience with Roy Rogers’ horse lead to a need for Trigger trigger warnings.

2.) Kirk was all like “Kobayashi Maru? More like BLOWMEashi Maru, am I right?” Kirk was a smug little bastard like that.

3.) Having privilege means having something to lose by fighting against privilege. It’s a Douche-22.

4.) A good way to piss off two groups of fanatics at the same time would be drawing Jesus crucified to a cross-hilt lightsabre.

5.) Less religious fundamentalism, more celebration of comic strips. That is to say, less Opus Dei, more Opus Day.

6.) The problem isn’t that the dog thinks his poop doesn’t stink. The problem is he thinks stinking is a good thing. He LOVES stink.

7.) Some of us were built to roar, it’s baked into our design and even when we do our best to meow, we only fail and sound stupid.

8.) The GOP would rather openly collude with foreign powers of all alignments, Russia, Israel, Iran than respect a black president.

9.) The dog has pooped in the living room but my stitches don’t let me bend to clean it up. Ollie’s presents for Momma later.

10.) Looks like early April’s gonna be poetry heavy for me. Doing a featured read for Albany Poets the evening of the 8th, most likely doing a reading for a creative writing class at Utica College the afternoon of the 9th. Coolycool!

11.) Meth heads have their own version of Tinder. It’s called “the Herkimer Wal-Mart”.

12.) “It’s okay, I’m a cop.” ?#?ExcusesForTheCrimeIn5Words?

13.) Twiztid: a tidbit of Twizzler. “Oh I’m too full for a Twizzler,” I might say, “but just gimmie a little Twiztid for the taste.”

14.) If the Antichrist is ever a real thing, you know he’ll always pose palms enfolded against the backdrop of a gauzy Texas flag.

15.) I’m pretty boss. Also, I’m pretty, boss. With or without comma, it works.

16.) Your new band will be called “Half Nixon Half Werewolf”. There is no negotiating here. It simply is.

17.) Maybe at least Star Wars 7 will have a Han/Leia marital spat involving the line “You did it all for the Wookie! For the Wookie!”

18.) I don’t know everything but one thing I do know: don’t be anywhere near Utica for the Boilermaker or St. Pat’s Parade.