311 in idea barrages

1.) What does not kill you hopefully leaves a cool lookin’ scar that will drive the babes wild.

2.) Jindal’s defaulted to the “spout irresponsible gibberish, hope it gets coverage” Palin/Trump hail-Mary. Worked so well for them.

3.) Ollie has gotten so fat from Momma’s McDonalds treats, I’mma start calling him Hamburger Buns.

4.) “All I can say about Starbucks is that it’s now I like my women,” he said, “strong and bitter.”

5.) Knowing Daredevil saw with sonar, to get a leg up in the fight, she blinded him with silence. She blinded him. With silence!

6.) Did Pizza Hut call their fake calzone “The P-Zone” on PURPOSE because it sounded like code for sex or was that an accident?

7.) Vampires don’t like to be called “the undead” they prefer “amortal”.

8.) I have so many good things on the edge of happening right now, I am trying to not drop any of the bowling pins I’m juggling. I’m quite afraid that the effort of trying to keep them all going is gonna mean I accidentally punt the thing that could actually work. (Plus my back is killing me.)