37 in idea barrages

1.) Honestly surprised Thomas’ English Muffins never tried a “Too Many Nooks” thing to be try and be hip.

2.) Two twos, two jokers and a king is the Road House.

3.) I feel like the guy fixing the porch door wouldn’t get my Zelda “PAY ME FOR THE DOOR REPAIR” reference.

4.) Do you think stock traders are ever like “SPECULATORS! Mooooouuunt up!”?

5.) Very minor surgery, 11AM Monday to fix this recurring thing on my back. What’s my battle cry? “Let’s Get This Over With!”

6.) The French phrase for working in a customer service call centre is “le grande mort”.

7.) Laptop battery at 30%. Trying to push thru Denial into Acceptance.

8.) I’d wear a ring with a clock-face in it, you’d ask me what it was, I’d say “my digital watch” and oh how we would laugh.

9.) “We need a word for ladyboner,” she thought, “except for a man. Like a man ladyboner but pithier.”

10.) Whenever anyone asks you how you did at something on Good Friday, just say “Nailed it!” then start laughing uncontrollably.

11.) Everyone says you gotta love yourself but maybe it’s more like an arranged marriage where you just accept this is who you’re stuck with.

12.) I’m ever so slightly too old to be of the “here we are now, entertain us” generation. I’m just barely still of the “where do we go, where do we go now, where do we go” generation. Both as metaphor and literally. We did not burn out young and pretty, here we are, in mansions of our ill-advised dreams looking chubby in red-cornrows asking… where do we go now?