32 in idea barrages

1.) What if you could fly but at a rate no faster than a jog? Normies would be impressed but the other heroes would all laugh at you.

2.) When drinking a Shamrock Shake, pretend it is Hulk blood. Pretend it is giving you powers. Growl a lot. Make the world a better place.

3.) The weirdest custom dino in the new Jurassic Park will have wide hips & a full firm bosom, it will be called the volumpturaptor.

4.) French vanilla. Dutch chocolate. Mongolian strawberry. Welsh rocky road. Mesopotamian caramel swirl. Ottoman mint chocolate chip.

5.) Fake you’re gonna eat a banana or ice pop real sexy then violently bite off the tip and yell “THIS IS WHAT I DO TO PENISES!”

6.) It’ll turn into a horrifying moth lamp eventually. It’s a larva lamp.

7.) Remember that Marvel crossover where villains traded nemeses to get things done? Why don’t cereal-starved mascots do that?

8.) “Hi I’m Rob Lowe.” “And I’m Annoying Commercial Series Rob Lowe.” “We’re the same person!”

9.) Your band will be called The Stagnation Army. You don’t have to thank me, just cut me in on the merchandise.

10.) Where is the Under Pressure/Pressure mash up we want and need?

11.) If the simplest solution is that its a trap, you successfully have applied Akbar’s Razor.

12.) Ring of Fire parody about pulling out teeth with a pair of rusty pliers?

13.) You would think that a guitar playin woman would be immune to the allure of Guy Holding A Guitar. But sadly it’s only amplified.

14.) Right jab, he laughs it off “is that all you got?” then you’re all “I’m lefthanded” and drop him with a single left cross.

15.) Any philosophy that must be propped up by a cult of personality isn’t worth a nickel.

16.) Who actually WANTS “Top Stories” on facebook? Who is that one person? Whoever they are, they’re everything wrong with America.

17.) A nerd stand-up comedy tour called “Crisis On Infinite Mirth”.