215 in idea barrages

1.) I refuse to accept “social justice warrior” as an insult. It’s the highest compliment! Paint your faces as Ultimate Social Justice Warriors!

2.) An ancient Egyptian who makes terrible EDM beats called Scrollex.

3.) When these hipster girls get over their fascination with beards and move onto bards, oh brother, I will be a hot property.

4.) See, I was still saying their original name “Domino’s Hot Garbage” so the name change will be even harder for me.

5.) You know that if Daleks have sex, they’re very straight forward about it. One just says “Inseminate, IN-SEM-IN-ATE” then they throw down.

6.) PRO-TIP: any song that features the word “woman” prominently can be easily parodied by substituting “wolfman”.

7.) Your educational soul band will be called Roy G Biv DeVoe. You don’t have to thank me, just cut me in on the merchandising.

8.) Did they ever call the Free Love Movement “Sex Commies”? Or were they afraid of making communism sexy?

9.) You’ve no idea how much I’m looking forward to when iPhones are an antiquated technology we all make fun of as a Grandma thing.

10.) You should refer to your relationship as “a plan” so you can be all like “I love it when a plan comes together”.

11.) The power of the comma is the difference between “step away from the circle, jerk!” and “step away from the circle jerk!”

12.) Someone’s gonna have a 50 Shades Of Grey themed exercise programme called “Working Out The Kinks” and it will be the worst thing ever.

13.) Equilibrium finally shifted & Valentine’s Day officially became Feel Sorry For Yourself Day. Congratulations, internet! We did it!

14.) Every time someone hits a field goal in football, I want 3 people to rush the field to do the “M” “C” and “A” next to the ref.

15.) I’ve decided that my new approach is “I’m quite handsome in an out-of-shape lumberjack kind of way”.

16.) When Clarice wanted oral sex from Hannibal, she had to word it very precisely to avoid disaster.