131 in idea barrages

1.) I regret I’ll not be alive in a few hundred years when people will speak of “the historical Gandalf” & search for his grave.

2.) Seth McFarlane’s career is a conspiracy to make creatives give up young by underlining how little talent has to do with success.

3.) He fights for socioeconomic justice w/ his hair-care product based powers. He is The Human Conditioner. He’s… pretty terrible.

4.) I wanna make puns about how similar “union” & “Jungian” sound but it wouldn’t work on twitter. Also it’d be pretentious as hell.

5.) One can only hope that whenever the crap finally melts away, there will be fertile soil for spring beneath.

6.) You know someone’s good people when a “networking event” is mentioned and they assume you’re gonna get together & watch NETWORK.

7.) You know she’ll be the CEO of a national chain of tattoo parlors some day, she’s got “upper management” written all over her.

8.) Poetry’s like that line from the only good Sandler movie. You wanna read a blue duck? You WRITE a blue duck. You write the HELL out of it.

9.) You can’t spell “emulator” without “emu” but those things have nothing to do with each other.

10.) Are there other bands named after folksy down-home terms for yeast infections or is it just Ry Cooder?

11.) “You do know how to clean out a Nintendo cartridge, don’t you?” she asked “You just put your lips together and… blow.”

12.) They’re trying to get renewable energy by smashing copies of THE BIRDS in the Large Hedren Collider.