128 in idea barrages

1.) Is there a rap act RUN C:> yet?

2.) They always speak of “finding religion” and yeah all the horrors performed in religion’s name, were I religion, I’d be hiding too.

3.) “This is true hipster cuisine,” she said nibbling her sriracha bacon quinoa kombucha gluten-free sousvide, “you can really taste the beard.”

4.) We CAN’T reform drug laws to save billions & all of Central America because where would the CIA launder money THEN, smart guy?

5.) Cold? Cold’s fine if it doesn’t come with snow. Ain’t gotta shovel cold.

6.) Self-loathing is just running The Mystery Method on yourself. it’s a staple of the Self-Seduction community.

7.) Dear Internet Sexists, you have it backwards. the ONLY good thing about Cynical Nostalgia Reboot #347 is the cast.

8.) We’re not “kept awake by anxiety”. We’re “experimenting with multi-phasic sleep”. Let us pass as sleep-hipsters instead.

9.) The least effective Spider Man villain is, of course, Dr. Oculus who tries to take over the world through 3-D anime pornography.

10.) Here’s an idea, how about Pratt stars in a new action series instead of another fish-nor-fowl reboot that will please no one?

11.) But if you can get past the abyss staring back, you’ll see that it’s nothing, just an absence of light. Bring a match.