129 in idea barrages

1.) The entire Masters Of The Universe series would’ve been 90 seconds without Orko. Transform, Skeletor arrested, the end.

2.) Reboot Ghostbusters, reboot Indiana Jones, reboot Bush Vs Clinton, reboot Reboot, reboot Ugg boots, reboot until it loses all meaning.

3.) The Mets’ best chance at short is Reyes retiring from Toronto then returning with a Bobby Valentine mustache as Bose Beyes.

4.) The internet, summarized: privilege is a hell of a drug.

5.) Sometimes I’ll paste a bit of old writing into a new document to break the writer’s block. The dog is similar about his poops.

6.) I sing the Power Wheels jingle to the cat. “Mao mao Maoer Wheels, mao mao Maoer Wheels, MAOER WHEELS, king of the cats!”

7.) Just cuz a show has minority creators doesn’t mean it still isn’t horribly stereotyped. I shouldn’t go make WOPPORTUNITY KNOCKS for example.

8.) It is my deepest hope that the twisty-turny path my life has taken will help me do something good with words and not just be kind of clever.

9.) I just want the scene where Stark introduces Banner to his assistant. “Hogan? Hulk. Hulk? Hogan.” That’s all.

10.) I’ll let someone else write a parody of Paul Simon’s “Kodachrome” about Hoda Kotb, at least until I can pronounce her name.

11.) Your new band will be called Lowest Karmic Denominator. You don’t have to thank me, just cut me in on the merchandise.

12.) If you can’t hear the word “Skate” without thinking “Or. Die. Skate Or Die. Die Die Die Die Die.” you’re probably about my age.

13.) From the wrong angle, those jester hats look like a sex-ed drawing of the female productive system. It’s WEIRD.

14.) If you had to write a wedding announcement for the Kotb-Mraz celebrity nuptials, your spellcheck would explode.