1230 in idea barrages

1.) pro-tip: when you run out of words on stage, just start yelling the venue’s wi-fi password

2.) Two great coffee houses in Utica, Survivorman’s in one, Gallagher’s in the other? Utica’s getting weirder by the minute. In a… good way?

3.) Ohhhh, take the mummy and run/oo oo oo/ohhhh, take the mummy and run

4.) Riff raffs? Riffs raff? Riff raves? Rives raff? This term defies pluralization.

5.) Horatio Sanz in Comic Sans would be the least funny thing, hands down.

6.) if you think about it, a merkin is really just pubic zirconia.

7.) A popped eardrum sounds so much more classy when you call it a “Eustachian break”.

8.) You, social drinkers who avoid the bars on New Years Eve because it’s amateur hour, you understand why I hate April Fools Day.