1110 in idea barrages

1.) I ran my entire emotional gamut from self-pity to mocking my own self-pity to screaming.

2.) “I haven’t even done it yet,” she said, “and I’m already pregretting it.”

3.) Watch who you say “shut your pie hole” around. Ovens consider it racist.

4.) “Oh not so formal, please. Mr. Peanut was my father.”

5.) Nothing makes you feel like you’re in a movie more than a store having on the same radio station you had on in the car.

6.) You know what, Ernie? I DO want to live on the moon. You are a man of limited vision, Ernie. You mistake fear for nostalgia.

7.) I’mma start saying I’m not goofy, I’m actually a brilliant charmer who happens to suffer from Resting Oaf Face.

8.) We are dangerously close to simply renaming Thanksgiving “Retail Profit Margin Thursday” or, at least, “Prequel Christmas”.