m19 in idea barrages

You will name your knife YouTube channel “never a dull moment”.

Since Dave Thomas was adopted and Wendy has that bright red hair, head canon that Ronald McDonald secretly fathered Dave Thomas and the ginger hair was a recessive trait that skipped a generation.

“When I said I wanted to go out dancing / I meant I wanna be dancing when I die / You took it as an invitation / I’ll forever wonder why” should be a song lyric, somewhere.

The necromancer king sent his daughter to the dragon willingly. Every hapless hopeful hero sent to “rescue” a nightly meaty feast for the beast and another knightly skeleton for the dread king’s growing army. A real win-win.

It’s weird calling it a “border crisis”. It’s a humanitarian crisis people don’t want to help alleviate because they’re racist and they’re using the canard of “border security” to pretend it’s anything else. And then they have the gall to call themselves “Christians”.

I feel like we missed a trick spelling it “selfie” instead of “cellfie”. We coulda had another layer to the wordplay!

Why call it “Porn Hub” when you can call it “pubic access television”?

The weirdest Sony Spidey spin-off, though, will be “Your Friendly Nabokov Spider-Man”.