j6 in idea barrages

Is there anything sadder in college football than celebrating “bowl eligibility”? Congrats, you won six games, 3 of which were against directional cupcakes. You get to play in a game named after a regional gas station chain, watched only by alumni & gambling addicts. Big whoop.

Jo-lene Jo-lene / Jo-Lene, JO-LENE / don’t take her husband, that would be just mean

Do hipster guys realize that wearing a thick woolen winter hat with a rolled-up brim doesn’t make them look like a lumberjack, it makes them look like a chap-stick lesbian with a knife review vlog? Do they get it? I mean, if that’s what they’re going for, mazel tov, but…

I hope that with the onset of puberty, the Powerpuff Girls finally grew fingers.

“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas ” sounds positively sarcastic outta context. Yeah, HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS, BUDDY!

“Take me to church” doesn’t sound nearly as sexy to a lapsed Catholic. Ain’t nothing less sexy than Mass.

I sort of enjoy how the way social media works, on facebook I look like I just write jokes and promote my events, on Insta, I look like I just collect strange things and go to concerts… and on Twitter I seem like a completely insane person.

Night Moves is my melancholy trigger as I never had a story like that, a brooding nerd in my teens because of family tragedies yet, there’s a lady or 2 I may’ve shared memories like that w/ had I not been so messed up & shy. I start humming a tune from 1992. November Rain, maybe.