nov 19 in idea barrages

That Cookie Monster, what a crumb dumpster.

I’m always fascinated by the things we pretend in civilization to try & feign we’re better than we are. There are oven cooking directions on Ellio’s frozen pizza, as if anyone has ever not just zapped it in a microwave. When we eat trash, we want it fast! But pretend we must.

Tippi Hadron in the subatomic horror film THE BOSONS.

Tote bag made to look like it’s a giant parody brand condom, down to stitching in some tube circles to simulate the bulge of the prophylactic inside. You know it’d sell big.

A gag order is for someone being insolent until proven guilty.

Dune Part Two will do better business if it goes with the subtitle “Spice World”.

Before you accept your friend’s invite to go slam a few cold ones together, make sure he isn’t a necrophiliac.

Stating a horrific childhood trauma and following it up with “and I turned out fine” is the best evidence that you did, indeed, not turn out fine.