nov 15 in idea barrages

It’s easy to do parodies of classic rock songs if they have an -ipple word in the word, just change that to “nipple” and it writes itself. I can only think of The Band’s “Up on Cripple Creek” and The Dead’s “Ripple” so far but the hint still stands.

Step One: buy a storefront in Liverpool, England. Step Two: start an Italian restaurant named Penne Lane. Step Three: ??? Step Four: PROFIT.

If you’re tired of salt and pepper, don’t worry, that will pass, it’s just seasonal depression.

I just want there to be an advanced baseball statistic called gWAR, because that’d be totally metal.

A couples costume of “Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater” and “Lady Buying Up All The Orange And Black Paint In The Store As Well As One Sensitive Skin Razor”.

The iron trumpeter would blast his song, all’s well, the city walls are secure, the king lives, etc, most nights to placate the population, except for Saturday, the ferrous bugler’s day off.

Vampires are no longer okay with the term “undead”. They now prefer “non-perishable items”.

My newest get-rich-quick scheme that is actually dumb and I would have no idea how to make anyway is some kind of hooking system so that people with gauges in their ears can hook into bluetooth ear buds and never lose them. I think we would call them “Fat Budz”.