It's not being psychic, it's following the energies in Walking away and into the New

Similarly to Z, J left the sort of goodbye message saying he needs to work on himself…that it’s nothing I did to cause it thing. He did so after needing to “process” last night when triggered by something. This must be an INTJ thing. What is there to say? He was supposed to hang out tonight…possibly do laundry here because of his living situation as I’ve offered…and have Chipotle and meet Hershey. I got up early to shower. Cleaned yesterday. And now…
Happy full partial eclipse moon day, I guess. What is the universes message to me?

But with him coming back-as brief as it’s been…
We seem to have closure about high school now

I cut out Z and let go of M.

I had asked the universe to make the Z thing easier on me and maybe this was part of it. And-if Z’s energy traces back to J, is that really in my best interest?

Read the patterns…but then I get paranoid because I know something similar will happen. Then I don’t read them, get my hopes up, and then get disappointed when it repeats. Please tell me…where is the middle ground?

I feel silly.
My dream was about coming back from a dance/event wearing a blue dress and being disappointed. Then about a purple snake creature in mom’s home.

Purple Snake Dream Meaning​​ As unusual as a color that can associated the dreamer with the crown chakra, the energies linking to higher realms or consciousness.
K-what now?

I’m ready for a mature available male in my life. Maybe I should break it down to those two things.

Am really sad…am living in fear of these cosmic dates with MR and the phases of the moon.
Sad but numb.
Sad and lost.
Wondering if I did something wrong?
Promising myself to hold back in so many ways going forward with anyone.
Reminding myself that even if there’s a soul connection…or I used to know the person…it doesn’t mean I can trust them.
Reminding myself of my tendency to give everything I have and more and to fawn.

Positives:
an early start
feeling relatively healthy right now
organized my space a little more
getting to know J while he was around
seeing the car stop for the turkey yesterday

I need to let people go that aren’t supposed to be here…
so painful to do.

Just a girl in a blue dress…waiting for the next guy to take her to dance… :(
love