sept 15 in idea barrages

Why say “venereal disease” when you can say “love-sickness”?

Nintendo has lost so much money by being too prudish to market Legend of Zelda “It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this!” condoms.

I SAW AN INK BLOT AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD / IT SAID FIFTEEN MILES TO THE RORSCHACH / RORSCHACH, BABY / RORSCHACH, BABY, RORSCHACH / RORSCHACH, I THINK I SAW THAT

Imagine a show without Garfield OR Heathcliff, just U.S. Acres and the Cadillac Cats. Working together, maybe, fighting crime? Fighting an international terrorist group called D.A.W.G.S.? “PROTECTING AMERICA FROM THE BARNYARD TO THE JUNKYARD - U.S.C.A.T.S.!”

Why say “tampon” when you could say “fanny pack”?

LESS GIRL DINNER, LESS BOY DINNER, MORE HUMAN DINNER

The therapist shows up in the hoarder’s house. She looks around and simply says “we have a lot to unpack here.”

A hipster serial killer whose calling card is a hot dog and they call her “Glizzy Borden”.