1026 in idea barrages

1.) Sometimes you go inside your own head and just wanna know that there’s people who think you’re their “what if” too.

2.) You look at the plurality of internet culture & wonder how ANYONE could be a Republican in 20 years. Then you see Gamergate. Oh.

3.) Even on Arrakis, Dune, the desert planet, they’d be like “okay, the pumpkin spice doesn’t need to flow THIS much”.

4.) Crowds ALWAYS show up late for shows in Utica. It is Utica law. It is, like, an audience of Axl Roses.

5.) It is important to only scare the normals enough to open their minds, not so much they’re scared away entirely. Being old I know that now.

6.) Santa hat & goggles, my costume is Hipster Claus. I bring Best Coast flexidiscs to all the good boys & girls of Williamsburg & Silver Lake.

7.) You also can’t spell “presumptuous” without “sumptuous”, for the record.

8.) Ronald McDonald, sittin’ on the Throne of Swords, whispering to his general “Bring me the head of the Burger king”.

9.) When butterflies are nervous, they get me in their stomachs. It’s… pretty gross in there, actually.

10.) I like to imagine that Spider-Man can’t deal with shopping for instant rice, brings up too many bad feels.

11.) Hugs not drugs? Why not both? Why not be America’s most notorious drug-snuggler?

12.) sleep with the girl at Little Caesar’s then at least you will have pizza even if she’s not a supermodel or great conversation there’s pizza

13.) I have a 13 year streak of not hitting a deer while driving but whenever that streak breaks it is gonna suuuuuuck.

14.) when in Wal-Mart, I see all the terrifying people and realize that, in that moment, I am one of them and that’s horrible.

15.) When you’ve mastered installation art, you attain the title of Installation Wizard.

16.) Joe Buck is like if the idea of being smug decided to try being a person.

17.) I missed the boat, yes, the Lusitania. I missed the boat, the Titanic, the Maine. The one I finally take will be the one that doesn’t sink.