july 21 in idea barrages

Say what you will about Beanie or Funko but at least you receive a physical item. Even when you finally realize that speculative investment is a dumber form of gambling, you still have an ornament or you can get a buck for it in a garage sale. Crypto & NFTs are literally nothing.

Some days all your brain is good for is to write a parody of Eminem’s LOSE YOURSELF about shitting yourself and that’s okay.

The business model of being an Insta or YouTube influencer seems to revolve around begging to be platonically stalked and, like, I don’t know how one’s sanity could survive that, longterm.

A parody of Steely Dan “kid Charlemagne” about Tim Chalomet could just barely squeeze itself in my idea for an album of classic rock parodies all in some way about DUNE.

If I go to hell, my Twilight Zone ironic punishment will be an infinite supply of coffee but it’s all flavoured or decaf.

The Ray Charles song “What’d I Say” except with the line “Tell your daddy / tell your mommy / gonna send you to Abu Dhabi” and it’s about Garfield and Nermal.

I hope if Uncle Scrooge went to Russia treasure hunting, they called it St. Petersbird.

I’ve always hoped Charisma Carpenter’s siblings were named Constitution, Strength, Wisdom, Dexterity and Intelligence Carpenter.