july 25 in idea barrages

Every time some fringe group predicts an End-Time and it inevitably passes, I like to imagine that there was a Rapture, like seven or eight years ago, but like only four or five people qualified and this just IS the Tribulation and we can’t even pay attention enough to notice.

Sometimes life models to you through negative reinforcement. A negative thing you feel urged to manifest, you see it in someone else and it wakes you up to what you’re doing. It’s probably not the universe intentionally teaching you but still listen. Still reflect. Still learn.

I love it when people are like “before the internet and cell phones, we remembered things! we memorized directions and phone numbers!” like… no, man, you had a pocket fulla crumpled up post it notes just like the rest of us. Nostalgia lies.

“The Babysitter’s Club” turned out to be the blackjack they used to knock out the kids so they could eat all the food and call their boyfriends over.

If you need to know the general Mohawk Valley vibe, just imagine “Midwesterners but emo”. Basically Midwesterners but openly dark-humoured and anxious instead of hiding it behind a thin veneer of sugary niceness. Emodwesterners.

A Limp Bizket parody about the film Mr. Mom called “I Did It All For The Woobie”.

A great bilingual pun name for a Soviet cowboy would be “Dusty Vanya”.

A nasal decongestant that actually makes you MORE alert called “Astuteafed”.