june 7 in idea barrages

Why say “country doctor” when you can say “farmacist”?

My brain keeps on mashing up that “Tell Me More, Tell Me More” song from GREASE with “Achy Breaky Heart” as if my mind is trying to punish me for something far more awful than I have ever done.

I hope at some point in the HANNIBAL series, he was assisting the police in tracking down a more dangerous killer and he made a joke about being McGruff The Crime Dog and “taking a bite out of crime”.

Between the giant bird monsters and being forced to eat pickles, I think I’d feel safer with the dinosaurs over going to Vlassic Park.

The car Homer developed for his half-brother Herb is literally less ugly, more real-world function and more feasible to mass-produce than that abomination of a Tesla truck. Being born rich makes Intelligence a dump-stat at character build, my lordy.

“Cornhole” just has too many unsavory implications for what’s supposed to be a family pastime and, anyway, “Redneck Bocce” describes it perfectly.

Did every region have a dirty parody of the local theme park’s cheesy television jingle? “A guy named Walter sits on your face, so much fun in just one place, hang on for the wild one! Hang on for the coooool one! Enchanted Forest Water Safari! Where the man always sharts!”

Every time a podcast shares a live show as its regular show, a baby seal clubs itself to death & the blood spray spells out the words “crowd interaction ruins everything, let the people paid to be funny make the noises, for the love of all that is holy and pure, shut up, rubes.”