may 30 in idea barrages

A special detergent for washing blankets called “Oil of Duvet”.

A medieval paladin Superman whose arch-nemesis is a bard named Lex Luthier.

If only we could get the world to stop mistaking “being a jerk” for “strength”, 83% of all our problems would disappear like a gnat’s fart in a tornado. Being a jerk is the weakest thing in the world and, deep down, the jerk knows it too.

They add multiple coast-to-coast trips to their seasons and keep pretending they could somehow be students under those conditions, as opposed to indentured-servant athletes and it is just so endlessly gross. The NCAA is a horror beneath even the dignity of simple contempt.

A Halloween rap song involving the lines “ain’t no party like a vampire party, cuz a vampire party really sucks” and “in the city, city of coffins”.

As jaded as I am for serialized television, the one thing I still respect in dumb sitcoms and whatnot is when the “will they? won’t they?” couple won’t and doesn’t. Is there anti-ship fandom out there, where the characters don’t get together, even though people want to project their fetishes onto “canon” and the Prime Couple, like, one of them meets a rando at a bar and the other re-connects with an old off-screen college fling and that’s it? I would kind of love that. So much of television and fandom is just smashing the good looking action figures together because they’re hot and, no offense anyone else, it bores me. Probably because I still think WAY too much about media theory, even 20 years after a tv/film college degree, but God help me it does.

The day after you sharpen your pocket knife up real nice is the day before you slice your thumb open just opening mail at work. This is the way of things. The way of the Force.

If I ever had the money, I would commission a costume of myself, with a cheap Ben Cooper mask of myself & a plastic smock that does not look like my clothes but rather a cartoon rendering on myself with a trickortreat bag & the speech bubble “Trick or Treat!” This is my dream.