april 26 in idea barrages

Sometimes I think I should sue Goldfish crackers because I’m the REAL snack who smiles back.

The worst part about human life is that it ends but the best part is that it happens at all.

How, during the fidget spinner craze, did I not write a parody of No Diggity involving the line “I like the way you spin it, so fidgety, so fidgety”? I worry about myself sometimes.

“Our Grodd is an awesome Grodd, he reigns over telepathic apes, with powers vast and odd, our Grodd is an awesome Grodd”

Sometimes I think about how people mistake distinctive features for ugly ones. Distinctive features make you stand out, are nucleation points for affection, part of being good-looking is standing out apart. Don’t ruin that beautiful Roman nose, for example.

The rise of the spectacle is the death of storytelling.

Canon is a brickbat media companies use to bludgeon the wallets of fans after the creators are dead or so out of touch they may as well be. Pay it no mind. Pick and chose your own narratives freely. There are only three Star Wars films.

If I had to make a list of items in a Cohen Brothers themed restaurant, it would at the very least include “Braising Arizona” “No Chutney For Old Men” “Hail! Caesar Salad” “O Broth, Where Art Thou?” “Blood Sausage” “The Flan Who Wasn’t There” and “The Pig Lebowski”.