107 in idea barrages

1.) If you focus on the bad parts of your past and hang onto resentments, you’re gonna end up hating everything in your entire life. Joy is additive. Combines. Sadness, rage, fear, these are multiplicative. Compound. They go exponential. To an extent, you can choose.

2.) Cherries for gout, cherries for gout, let’s see if these things can sort it all out.

3.) It’s about a former nun who becomes a cop. FORCE OF HABIT.

4.) When you look back upon your walk with the gods, remember, it’s not that you held stride with them. They held stride with you.

5.) Beautiful ladies in the cafe/dump that redneck on your arm/come looking my way.

6.) Mash-up “Closing Time” and “Glycerine”. I dare you.

7.) It’s like Ren Faire punk. It’s called bardcore. It’s… pretty terrible.

8.) The evil ghost realtor can be summoned by calling his name three times: Location, Location, LOCATION!

9.) I will now construct the trending-est phrase of all: pumpkin spice gluten ebola. You’re welcome.

10.) All I’m saying is I deserve a parade for not eating that bag of fun-size Kit Kats yet. A medal at the VERY least.

11.) The way to make everyone wanna talk to you was to be wearing Bugle Boy jeans and in possession of Grey Poupon, were the ads to be believed.

12.) Had Hotlips been married, would Frank have been her… side Burns?

13.) I’m sometimes down on my looks, vis-a-vis my weight, but holy God is my hair awesome. Fabio just died so he could roll over in his grave.

14.) How sick do you get when an ad for a multinational corporation claims a “commitment to America”? They’re “committed” to profit by any means.

15.) How is a collection of decades-old instrumental outtakes from sessions Waters wasn’t involved with a “Pink Floyd album”?

16.) You know what my two main influences should be when writing puppet shorts? The old Utica Club Schultz and Doodey ads & Homestar Runner.

17.) How have the bears not re-worked Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” into an anthemic “Hairy Guy” yet? Seems like a lock.

18.) The problem with befriending literary characters is that sooner or later they always revert to type.

19.) April Fools’ Day is so banal, I find myself seeking shelter from that amateur night. “Pranktuary!” I yell “PRANKTUARY!”

20.) Just a really classy porno store called “Debaucherie”. But with all the French accent marks to make it CLASSY.

21.) She only eats crazy stuff. She’s a locovore.