september capstone barrage in idea barrages

1.) It’s POSSIBLE there’s something more soul-numbingly depressing than the trailers for the DUMB AND DUMBER sequel. But I doubt it.

2.) The coal company announced that it was pleased they’d escaped the explosion with only miner injuries.

3.) So they get naked and go survive in the woods in the show but… they still wear facial make-up? Such a weird disconnect.

4.) Don’t call it a “polka”. They prefer the term “Pole dancing”.

5.) It has been scientifically determined that the most optimal name for an emo band would be “The Hopeful Romantics”.

6.) Whenever people want to write Holmes/Watson slash fic, you should be all like “No Ship Sherlock!”

7.) Why did the medical examiner use an IUD? Because no one puts baby in the coroner.

8.) I want an EXPENDABLES knock-off with the lesser brothers of celebrities. Frank Stallone. Jim Belushi. The Jesus-y Baldwin.

9.) We could assume that a man “going to play the ponies” wasn’t doing something horribly perverted before the Bronies went and ruined it.

10.) One of the quintuplets refused to stop breast-feeding but, hey, you can’t ween ‘em all.

11.) The Northern California division of SHIELD, of course, flies a Hellacarrier.

12.) A story about iPhones getting bent by exposure to Ebola would basically summarize the internet right now.

13.) I haven’t heard enough DUNE “The Spice Must Flow!” jokes about pumpkin spice overload, internet. Get on that.