99 in idea barrages

1.) Much as I hate unearned Pollyanna optimism I’m a huge fan of earned world-weary “we have been there, we can do that” positivity.

2.) I’m no religious type but I’d like to point out how JC flipping out on the money-changers was the original Occupy Wall Street.

3.) If you own a strap-on, it is your civic duty to name it “Barbara Man-Drill”.

4.) If sports admitted to forcing performers to get addicted to pills to keep going, we could nickname someone Thomas The Tranq Engine.

5.) I have made my peace with the fact that my dream woman would be Velma from Scooby-Doo if she were 6‘2”.

6.) Anyone ever see an interesting headline then close it in disgust when it turns out to be a video/audio feed? I wanted to READ that.

7.) It is our duty to write dirty gags about the past so the kids might study history to understand our cock jokes. It’s the future’s best hope.

8.) Don’t call it a “sex swing”. They prefer the term “love seat”.