oct 26 in idea barrages

Why call it “drunken master fighting” when you can call it “brew-jitsu”?

Gingivitis is actually an STD from going down on too many redheads.

No, the WEIRDEST distant sequel to a Madonna film would be DESPERATELY MEDICATION-SEEKING SUSAN.

I am only dimly aware of the actress Amanda Seyfried but I know enough about the proliferation of celebrity couple names to know that it is IMPERATIVE she start dating someone named “Roy”. First name, last name, man, woman, the details are fungible but we need “Seyfried And Roy”.

It’s weird how the Met Gala’s theme every year is “Out-Of-Touch Rich Jerks Showing Off While There’s Homeless People Dying In The Streets Mere Blocks Away”. It’s so specific that you’d think they’d wanna change it up once in a while, just for funsies. Must get monotonous.

I just realized that the rhythm of saying “Eleanor Rigby” and “Telly Savalas” is the exact same thing and it gives me Ideas.

Yes, Jesus loves you but like a FRIEND. He loves you like a FRIEND. He wants to help you spiritually, don’t act all “friendzoned” when He doesn’t wanna date you and made it clear from the beginning. Don’t be a Jescel.

If Nintendo had any kind of a sense of humour about themselves, they would make a mint off selling Legend of Zelda “It’s Dangerous To Go Alone, Take This!” prophylactics.