august 11 in idea barrages

The Three Stooges totally should have tried a hair care tie-in called Shempoo.

The music mash-up ruining my brain today is ACDC’s “It’s A Long Way To The Top” and the Stones “Jumping Jack Flash”, for some reason.

I feel like we could get Tarantino to do a movie set in the early years of the Erie Canal, as long as we never explain to him what the word “Towpath” actually means.

Someday we’re gonna get flat-earthers protesting Shakespeare because he put on shows in The Globe.

Not having to give a dry fart in a hailstorm about awards ceremonies is the upside to never having succeeded in film. It was so… exhausting to have to have an opinion on which pretty rich jerk was gonna get elected to the pretty rich jerk Homecoming Court.

I’m just not gonna go to a bar on a Drinking Holiday. New Years, St. Pats, Cinco, etc. It’s not that I am totally opposed to a drink in a bar but not on amateur hour. If I wanted more screaming and slipping in vomit in my life, I would just go father a child.

Watching weird racist nerds flipping out because they didn’t know simple nerd things like April O’Neil originally being African-American or that The Thing from the Fantastic Four is canonically Jewish, it’s disappointing on, like, infinite levels.

A head-canon where Goofy was originally the eloquent George Geef before the tragic death of Max’s mom. The Goofy persona an avoidance mechanism to deny his pain & grief. His friends Don & Mick playing along out of pity. His neighbor Pete trying to snap him out of it with cruelty.