august 5 in idea barrages

I’m honestly surprised there wasn’t a porn parody called THE LOIN KING.

You will sail the seas of Scandinavia in a boat you call “The Fjord Explorer”.

Utica gets a bad rap, making it sound like an unlivable war-zone when there’s actually a lot of good stuff there. Except for Boilermaker Day and St. Patricks Parade Day, the two days of the year it is so untenable that it makes the jokes about it seem like understatements.

In some contexts, priests are really just votivational speakers.

If you innovate technology because you don’t want to work hard, you are lazing a trail. You’re a real traillazer.

Wendys is calling their chicken chunks “nuggs” now and, I have to say, there are few things more cringey than corporations trying to pretend they’re cool.

“Here at Scam Online University, you’ll get your degree faster, cheaper and easier than anywhere else! No one will take your degree seriously because it’s a scam but, hey, you’ll have it!”

The accountant at the brothel does not appreciate the nickname “Tally Ho”.