712 in idea barrages

1.) Pink's is only worth it if for some reason your hot dog is enhanced by looking at a Jay Leno autograph while waiting in line for it.

2.) The Legion of Superheroes is the dumbest comic idea ever conceived but we could redeem it w/ the introduction of the villainess Size Queen.

3.) Cervical caps would probably be a more popular form of birth control if they called them "everlasting knob stoppers".

4.) "My Little Pony" inspired my generation toward getting tramp stamp tattoos. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

5.) I would rather die alone than transmit images of my junk electronically, OKCupid. Go piss up a rope, online dating.

6.) Atop the crest of a long-accrued probability wave about to break, success and failure equally likely, equally deserved.

7.) Planning ahead for details that can easily be dealt with at the moment they happen is a strong step toward utter madness.

8.) some of us marched off to war, some ran away to the Magic Store, none of us found what we were looking for and the survivors limped home with the scars we bore

9.) You know you've beaten your laptop to hell when even the auxiliary keyboard you use because the "s" and "d" keys stopped working, when THAT keyboard is starting to go. It is also a good sign that you are painfully broke.

10.) NEW! Empty Church playset! (Some assembly required)

11.) newest alternate title: The Celebrated Missing Link of Los Angeles County

12.) I like to believe that in Middle Earth, one of the domain names is .orc

13.) tonight I feel like the name of my first chapbook needs to be "reverse stage fright"

14.) The comic strip "Cathy" was so named because it was as entertaining as receiving a catheter.