I'd it weren't for the customers, this job would be great. in The Napkin.

So I’ve clocked in barely five seconds, and workcrush comes up to me, telling me about her tampon. Apparently, co-manager punched her in just the right spot to cause her vagina 5o sneeze out the tampon.

Yes, she’s one of THOSE oversharing girls. Gotta love her.

Seconds later, she’s hanging out the window yelling, “HEY, DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?” at her husband.

Minutes later, I point at her and say, “Bye!”. After a dramatic pause, I point to one of our co-managers and say, “Gay!” …cuz, she is, and he is. I live for the facepalms and eyerolls.

As a final pun, I ask her, “How do you spell ‘me’?” She says, “M-E.” I say, “You forgot the D.”

She says, “There’s no… Oh! Good one.”

Haha.

Since she doesn’t work nights anymore, she typically comes up to me at the beginning of my shift with SOMETHING outrageous she’s been wanting to tell me. I can’t bank on her to perk my mood, but it’s always the best five minutes of my day.

Also. I got a song stuck in her head.

Tampon!

CLAP CLAP

Tampoff!

CLAP CLAP

Tampon, tampoff, the tamper!

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP