feb 15 in idea barrages

Why call it “analingus” when you could call it “taint and sip”?

And America can stop pretending to care about soccer for another four years.

I would want to say “Work to be kind but have fun when you can kindly along the way” would be a good credo to live by, if it wasn’t just “BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER AND PARTY ON, DUDES!” in fancier words.

If Jimmy Cameron wants to just make “theme park experiences”, man, he should just do that. The Avatar films would work a lot better as 20 minute Star Tours rides with, like, chairs that shake and a fog machine. Just stop pretending they’re “movies” with a narrative.

If you replace the “fa la la la la la la la la” with “gabba gabba hey, gabba gabba hey hey” then TIS THE SEASON becomes an instant Ramones banger.

If there wasn’t a PERFECT STRANGERS Christmas episode called “Have Yourself A Larry Little Christmas”, there should have been.

There is no greater sign of weakness than an attempt to project strength. There is no worse lesson to learn from misfortune than “this should never happen to me again”. You should have learned “this should never happen to anyone ever” instead.

I’m honestly surprised that there hasn’t been a crowd-funded fan film creating a full feature length version of Home Alone’s fake film-within-a-film “Angels With Filthy Souls” yet.