feb 9 in idea barrages

All I know is that my Winnie-the-Pooh / Little Shop of Horrors mash-up is going to include the song “Suddenly Eeyore”.

Tubi or not Tubi? Not Tubi. Definitely not Tubi.

Okay, okay, I get the whole “biblically accurate angel” thing but what if you told someone they had the voice of an angel, biblically accurate? “You sing so beautifully, peoples’ heads are sploidin’ like in SCANNERS.” Is that a compliment? An insult?

Chocolate-dipped pretzel sticks are just Christmas Pocky.

If you “pay it forward” at the hair salon, does that make you a perm donor?

If you call a doubly-terminated quartz a “Herkimer diamond” for the benefit of an out-of-towner’s understanding within the Little Falls city limits, four locals will instantly appear to yell “IT’S A LITTLE FALLS DIAMOND!” as if you’d summoned Beetlejuice with his name thrice.

There’s a lot of questions about where a centaur could wear pants but not enough people asking if a giraffe would wear a bowtie at the top of its neck or the bottom of its neck.

Maybe there’s only a heaven, but the sinners gotta be the servants up there, making it even worse than the popular conception of hell. Breaking your back to create someone else’s paradise sounds a lot worse than simply burning up.