jan 26 in idea barrages

Why say “STD” when you could say “affection infection”?

A parody of the Ben Folds Five’s “Jackson Cannery” about battling a lich. “that vampire’s chasing me but I got his phylactery, whoa-oa, whoa-oa”.

I wonder if every celebrity would’ve been ruined by fame if they’d lived long enough. I wonder if he’d lived, if by now we’d have a home decorating line on QVC called “Tupac Decor”.

Matchbox 20, Maroon 5 & Nickelback could do the “30 Cents of Suck” tour together.

If you announce a stealth bomber, then it’s just “a bomber”.

I just witnesses the end of GROWN UPS by accident and whatever goodwill I still had for Sandler is finally dead.

“Cucumbers, the worst vegetable of all. How can we fix this?” “Make them… rubbery and sour?” “BRILLIANT!”

A movie about a ghost kitchen set-up run by actual ghosts. We could call it, oh, Deadlivery.