jan 22 in idea barrages

1. Will Garvey is a celebrated private detective but he’s really a front man for his super-intelligent talking cat Biscuits, who really solves all the crimes. They are BISCUITS AND GARVEY.

2. If you want to pretend you don’t know someone on a cellphone call on Christmas, you can instead say “NEW PHONE, WHAT CHILD IS THIS?”

3. You can’t hide your Italian cooking mistakes forever. A bad penne always turns up.

4. Limp Bizkit taught us that groups of people loping about in red ball caps were up to no good but we did not respect The Prophecy and here we are.

5. Treating someone like they’re gullible because they’re stoned is called “grasslighting”.

6. I feel like there’s a way to sing the words to Sir Mix A Lot’s “Baby Got Back” over the music of Paul Simon’s “Homeward Bound”. (This is the kind of thing I think about when commuting.)

7. Superman’s secret older brother No-El, better known as Santa Claus.

8. A porno spoof of “12 Angry Men” called “Hung Jury”.

Last updated June 15, 2023