jan 18 in idea barrages

The downfall of the organization for recovering bra-and-jock-strap fetishists was sewn by the fact they allowed them to call it a “support group”.

Why say “rest stop hooker” when you can say “trucker treat “?

Our pattern seeking minds are the decoder rings to existence. There is no set predetermined meaning in the chaos but we can sort through the entropy and create our own meanings. If your meaning turns out to be DRINK MORE OVALTINE, that’s as valid as anything else. Chug the stuff.

Remember, kids, the lesson taught by Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer: your differences are only forgivable if others can exploit them!

I don’t know how a You Rule Log would differ from a Yule Log but I know it’d be cool.

When I do things alone, it’s nice, but I feel like a tourist in own life, like I’m just passing through. And I guess that’s true, for us all, from a certain point of view.

Always fascinates me how the most unserious people are also the least funny. I’ve come to the conclusion, if you don’t understand the stakes & values behind a joke, you can’t make one correctly. Punching down has no comedic stakes because the oppressed are already suffering.

Fecal analysis determines illness through a process of elimination.