ja 14 in idea barrages

The most ridiculous thing about Elon Musk is that he really thinks he looks like a rebel fighting for his right to party, when he looks a lot more like a frat boy on dad’s yacht trying to freestyle a rap about his right to duck pate.

My main argument for why the American “zee” works better than the British “zed” is that ours works for the eternally amazing early Simpsons line “I hate very ape I see, from chimpan-a to chimpan-zee” and theirs doesn’t. Checkmate, Britain. Checkmate.

We don’t go slam-dancing in the mosh pit. We go story-slam dancing in The Moth pit.

Your Leftist Zoomer name is Eugene Dabs.

I woke with a start, with the name for the museum of weird collections I will open if I ever have the money to do that. It will be a twist on a cherished childhood memory, a play on the greatest Christmas display ever burned down by the mob. It will be TRINKETS MANOR.

In Retro-Hipster Breaking Bad, they’re cooking Crystal Pepsi instead.

I remember seeing the FRIENDS that stole Bean’s turkey gag in a 98 dorm, pointing it out & being booed out by folks who only watched it for a fantasy of a rich blandly-attractive life. Did I ever date a girl at SU? No, I was serially in long-distance things. Was I wrong? ALSO NO.

You know you’re in a certain mindset when you’re helping your grandmother to a doctor’s check-up and you note “hey, her doctor’s cute”.