d 3 in idea barrages

If all your show has going for it is the maguffin of its “mystery plot” or the question “will the two blandly attractive leads have sex?” it could well be a huge hit at the zeitgeist’s whim, at first, but it’ll implode after two seasons. It’s the Monkey’s Paw wish of tv series.

A reality show attempting to determine the world’s most attractive butcher called BEAUTY AND THE BEEF.

I’m not saying you should put electrical wires up your pee-hole to shock your innards for sexual pleasure, I’m just saying that if you have to, at least refer to it as “the old Urethra Franklin”.

A deconstructed breakfast cereal called POST MODERN.

Celebrate “No Nut November” by ripping the truck nuts off the squeaky clean pick-up trucks of dentists who’ve never taken the thing off-road.

The pitch meeting for pickles must’ve been wild. “You know the bitter watery squishy vegetable you only eat if you can’t afford anything else?” “The one with the awful seeds?” “That one. We’re going to soak it in spoiled wine until it becomes really sour.”

Did THE CROODS end with a dance number over a hastily rewritten version of Matchbox 20 Guy’s “SMOOTH” called “CROOD”?

All ravens and crows in television and film are represented by Corvid Artists Workshop or CAW.