n 23 in idea barrages

Old is when you hear a song you hated when they played it 10,000 times on the radio when you were young and… you still hate it but you leave it on because you’re nostalgic for the feeling of hating it so much.

After the horrors of The Cereal Wars, the world settled in for the grueling period known as The Post Apocalypse.

Real Talk: why would we terraform Mars, just so some rich jerks can live on a planet separate from us peons, when it’s doubtless that if terraforming’s ever possible, it’d be a lot easier to make, like, the Sahara or Australia livable? Just for the egos of some trust-fund babies?

Tik Tok is the Chinese government leaving a space for us to poison ourselves with our own decadence and, like, fair play. I can’t even be mad. That’s our own horniness and vanity, you just set up the vortex to pour it into and stare at. You read America correctly.

If you think about it, a really fancy septum piercing is really just post-nasal drip.

Who retires and un-retires more often: quarterbacks, professional wrestlers or the McRib?

Considering the long-simmering “big tiddy goth girlfriend” meme, there really should be a parody of Poison’s “Unskinny Bop” on that topic but no one has the vision to get there.

The optimal title for an album is “Answers To Questions Nobody Asked”.