sep 16 in idea barrages

A burlesque-based exercise programme called “The Total Bawdy Workout”.

Calling the influences of North and South America on Europe “The Columbian Exchange” is like if you got mugged in the middle of the night and the robber called it “The Midnight Exchange”.

The fact that I forgot a relatively good joke while driving today is proof that I should have a driver and no responsibilities and infinite resources, so as to preserve the occasional B-level joke lost to my being a functional person.

A wild-west spin on the story of The Little Mermaid called “Clam-Titties Jane”.

They could’ve included a green Slinky with specially marked jumbo packs of Irish Spring soap and had the marketing coup of the decade but no one listens.

A film about Joe McCarthy raising a zombie army to fight against his paranoid conception of Communism, though of course the zombies turn on him, and it’s called “DEAD SCARE”.

The question is, which is worse, succeeding as something that you’re not or failing by being exactly who you really need to be?

A long fruitful career in pornography requires pacing, knowing when to take breaks, when to go all in. It’s basically load management.