6.17 in idea barrages

1.) A good mash-up of COLD TURKEY and SWEET JANE would probably fix many of history's problems.

2.) Those who hold doors don't get in first. This isn't an argument against holding doors, this is an argument against caring about being first.

3.) Green beer nothing, beware the St. Ides of March instead.

4.) In CHARLIE AND THE MUSTARD FACTORY, Charlie finds a Gulden ticket.

5.) Sometimes to let go of how much the past sucked, you have to instead focus on how much the PRESENT sucks. And then work forward from there.

6.) "The entire concept of reality itself is a meta-fictional conceit, you bastard, try and keep up!" I tell myself in a Hunter Thompson voice.

7.) Like Larry said to Curly, "Don't you worry about me, I'm just Fine."

8.) Like the Frenchwoman said leaving the room, "Don't mind if adieu."

9.) But, I mean, it would go without saying that a good mash-up of "Wish You Were Here" and "Epitaph" would bring about world peace.

10.) Like the disbelieving bowling pin said to the arrogant ball, "Oh spare me."

11.) Cursing isn't taking a god's name in vain. Swear all you need. Pretending to speak for divinity so as to control others, THAT'S true vanity.

12.) The three most important things in comedy are timing, timing and

13.) Whenever someone quotes religious text to you, just be all like "I haven't finished it yet! SPOILERS, geez!"

14.) Which is the parallel world where Superman landed in 1700s Germany and was raised by Immanuel Kant?

15.) If you're bad at being a person but are a good person you're still good. If you're good at being a person but a bad person you're still bad.

16.) The man with the beret and the billy-goat beard at the con, I wanted to yell "HEY NICE MYTHBUSTERS COSPLAY!" but I am not enough of a jerk.

17.) I write a lot about science as an agent of dangerous change made into positive forces thru the leadership of writers & singers, it seems.

18.) In Soviet Oz, yellow brick road follows YOU.

19.) Why do you want your fetishes and cult things to be legitimatized, normalized, mainstreamed? It's very hard and rare to have it both ways.

20.) Only a Sith speaks in absolutes. Well, also the Jedi. And yeah some other people. Look, it varies, okay?

21.) Parody of THE MUPPET BABIES? "Trust Fund Babies, they live in Williamsburg/Trust Fund Babies, they're worse than you had heard"?

22.) Girls from high school basketball tournament posed giggling for a photo with two furries at the con. Did they know what would happen later?

23.) Flint had to explain to the Sargent upon meeting the Transformers "that's a vehicular man, Slaughter!"

24.) Exxon was bragging in what it thought was the slang of the day "we've got petroleum! jelly?"

25.) Anne Rice Krispies: They're Disappointingly Born Again!

26.) An older man with an unfortunate stutter tried to explain the difference between "hentai" & "ecchi" to people. It was too awkward to watch.

27.) Clever is usually messy. Clever without messy is generally only a product of extraordinary luck.

28.) The problem with building a parody around "a sequel even rui-ned Caddyshack-ackackackackack-ack" is then I'd have to listen to Billy Joel.

29.) The fact that "World of GWARCraft" does not exist means that there is untapped marketshare somewhere.

30.) timing.