may 2 in idea barrages

Imagine using the term “based” unironically.

I kind of hope the Eastern Orthodox Church has a version of the Easter Bunny called The Eastern Bunny. He’d probably be about the same but he’d come two weeks later, wear a weird hat and have a rad-as-hell giant Rasputin beard.

A movie about a spy awoken from decades of cryofreeze, talking as if Austin Powers references are funny.

I hope Eminem’s second pasta restaurant will be called NOBODY LISTENS TO PESTO.

How soon after full marijuana legalization are we going to get Dunkin selling “Blazed Doughnuts”?

He got on ONE little cross and his mom got scared, He said “Sunday outside the cave, I’ll be meeting you there.”

But what is a burrito if not a flour beanbag?

“I see bile,” said Alcmaeon of Croton, “I see blood…” he paused, the crowd hushed in anticipation, “and I see phlegm!” They broke out into uproarious laughter. He was the king of observational humours.